esexist: yeah there are a lot of fish in the sea but how many have low standards
I’ve mastered the art of not giving a fuck while simultaneously caring way too much
baliset: ain’t no party like a Gatsby party because a Gatsby party don’t stop until at least two people are dead and everyone is disillusioned with the jazz age as a whole
swiftingthrough: cloudy with a chance of why the fuck am i outside
zackisontumblr: if you ever have children you could introduce them to people by saying hey wanna see what i made
your virginity (Taken with instagram)
foxnewsofficial: walk into the club like “what’s the wifi password”
I set my expectations low, life is pretty fucking disappointing..
let’s get the day started with a nice big bowl of why the fuck am I awake
tupacabra: msjewbooty: BUY LEMONADE $0.50 PER CUP WILL SHIP OVERSEAS
When people don't know who blink 182 is
hawkeyedriza: absolutelydestinysmood: nannajane: in 7 years its going to be the 20s again so we can bring back swing music and the aesthetics of that era but keep modern values who’s with me you can’t repeat the past can’t repeat the past? why, of course you can! of course you can.
zackisontumblr: i wish pizza fell from the sky with a little parachute and landed in my hands whenever i wanted a pizza
roaminromans: how to play a racing game HIT EVERYONE OUT OF THE WAY GO FAST NEVER USE BRAKES
Reblog this if you are literally surprised when...
sudowoodo: *quietly appreciates you*
rockpapertheodore: pan2dapan: cerberusdad: i like the word partners because no one can tell if you’re dating or if you’re in a buddy cop movie oddly enough, no one can tell if Simon Pegg and Nick Frost are dating or in a buddy cop movie.
coagulates: someone fall in love with me i am bored
ghostboyfriend: welcome to the punk rock hospital, we dont use anesthesia and our scalpels are rusty because it makes it more hardcore. none of us are liscensed doctors
seblaine: what do people do if they’re not obsessed with anything
miranduhh-taylor: blazeberg: Tell a girl she has nice eyebrows and she’ll suck your dick right then and there omg yes
You’re pushing me away… but I guess thats what you’ve wanted this whole time..